honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
