i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
