Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
