If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
