at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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