whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
