i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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