Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
