Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
