Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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