i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
