At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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