It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish there were birth control emojis
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
