Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
