Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
