Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
too bad you live with your parents still
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
