...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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