just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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