just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
