It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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