that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
