They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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