It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
