what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
