Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
