Plan B is the new Plan A
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
