Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
