Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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