is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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