I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
