I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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