Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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