you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
