you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
