Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My vagina is very pro this idea
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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