he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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