she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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