Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
