Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need a beard to bite.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
