Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
