walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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