I cockslap morals
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
