made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have post one night stand depression
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