We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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