Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
