I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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