Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
