You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
