not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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