He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
